


Poor Poor Cullen

by visforvictory



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: dubious implied relationships, poor poor cullen, this is ridiculous i am sorry, tranquil cullen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 20:53:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4451981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/visforvictory/pseuds/visforvictory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A special, precious, specious gift arrives on Hawke's doorstep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poor Poor Cullen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eris/gifts).



> I...
> 
> happy birthday eris!
> 
> haha

They stared down at the item that had been left on Hawke’s doorstep.

Varric scratched his head. ‘I didn’t know… you could tranquilize templars.’

‘Well, that’s a shame,’ Anders snapped. ‘Get rid of it!’

The _it_ in question was Knight-Captain Cullen, kneeling quite peacefully on the hard paving stones. The brand on his forehead was raw and fresh.

‘Huh,’ Varric said, as Hawke reached down and picked up the note that had been attached to Knight-Captain Cullen’s neck on a blue satin ribbon. ‘What’s that say?’

“‘Dear Champion,’” Hawke read, “‘We heard it was your birthday. In light of your continued support for the mages of Kirkwall, we offer a token of our gratitude. Perhaps you might find some use for this. –O’”

‘I’ll take him back to the Gallows,’ Aveline said, shaking her head. ‘Poor Cullen. I don’t know what Meredith’s going to say.’

‘No, wait,’ Hawke said. ‘I’ll do it. Eventually.’

Varric shook his head. ‘Hawke, _no_. For fuck’s sake.’

Hawke waved a hand in the air. ‘You worry too much. Let me take care of this lovely blond boy.’

A flash of white teeth, the customary Hawke grin that Varric knew spelled nothing but trouble.

The dwarf threw up his hands. ‘Fine. Have yourself a lovely afternoon.’

‘Oh, I will.’ The grin widened. ‘I’m going to enjoy this.’

Aveline made a noise, a mix of disgust and scorn. ‘Have it your way, Hawke.’

She left with Varric, both of them shaking their heads.

Anders lingered on the steps, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

‘You staying?’ Hawke asked, already dragging the Knight-Captain to his feet. ‘You want to come in?’

Anders looked at the Knight-Captain. He cocked his head to one side. He thought about it.

‘Yeah,’ he said slowly. ‘It’s only fair.’

Hawke shrugged and beckoned the mage in.

If there were odd noises coming from the Amell estate that afternoon, the neighbours knew better than to say anything. The Champion did what – and whom – the Champion wanted.

 

***

 

'Harder.' The voice was imperious. It was obviously Hawke's, by tone alone.

Varric sighed and made his way up the stairs, wishing he'd just left the message with Bohdan.

'Harder! I said,' and there was a grunt, also Hawke's, ' _harder_.'

'You're going to wear him out.' That was Anders.

Varric contemplated turning around and trotting home.

Curiosity got the better of him. Besides, the door to the bedroom was open. Cullen was on his knees before the Champion of Kirkwall, whose nose was tilted up imperiously.

_Oh, for shit’s sake._

Momentum and a terrified curiosity sent Varric forward, into the chamber.

The Knight-Captain was on his knees, kneading Hawke’s feet between his large, calloused hands. Remarkably, he had all his clothing on.

Varric looked around. The room seemed a lot shinier. The chamber pot sparkled. All of Hawke’s armour was on the bed, and it practically glistened.

'Er,' he said. 'I, er. Message for you. Meredith says she doesn't want ‘that thing’ back anymore.'

'Such a pity,' was Hawke's only comment. 'Harder, Cullen! Get in there. Don’t be such a pussy.'

Anders coughed. 'Hawke?'

A grunt.

'Can we keep him?'

'You want to keep him?' Varric stared, incredulous. 'You?'

Anders reached out and took the ends of the blue ribbon where they were still tied around Ser Cullen's neck, twirling them between index and thumb.

'Well,' the mage said, his fingers moving in slow, thoughtful circles, 'they did take my kitten away.'

**Author's Note:**

> this travesty is a gift for dear eris from when I was taking a much-needed break from this 80k fcawkefic that will be finished at some point. seeing as I just cut 50% out of it for pure stupidity, and it's devolved into something involving sea serpents..... it might be a while. :)


End file.
